Performativity

The Bourne Ultimatim (not a rave review)

2009-11-05T20:06:16Z

I recently completed The Bourne Ultimatim by Robert Ludlum. This is the third book he wrote about Jason Bourne, the special ops agent who lost his memory while on a mission in Europe. You can tell by the title that this is the last book about Jason Bourne; however, additonal Jason Bourne books, written by Eric van Lustbader, have appeared.

I enjoyed the Bourne movies with Matt Damon. They loosely followed one of the plots of the first book, and ignored the other two books, which was a good idea. For a number of reasons, I didn't care for this third Bourne novel.

I did enjoy the first Bourne book. It was intriguing and suspenseful, and I grew to care about Marie and Jason/David as they learned more about who he was before the amnesia and why everyone appeared to want to kill him. The second book was a disappointment. U.S. government officials kidnap Jason/David's wife to force him to return to Vietnam and track down another assassin. This was too absurd to be believable (as one character pointed out at the end of the book), and I can't remember why I kept reading to the unsatisfying end, but I did. It was several years before I picked up Book 3.

The plot of Book 3 relies heavily on the part of the plot of Book 1 that was completely ignored by the movies, that of Jason's mission to expose and destroy an assassin known as Carlos the Jackal. Jason/David is 50 during this adventure, so there's a bit of pondering the effects of aging on the body. There's also the back and forth between which "personality" is in charge of Jason/David, but it felt very contrived in this novel. Several times I was reminded of Gollum's arguing with himself in Lord of the Rings.

Perhaps because his protagonist was over a decade older than he was in the first novel, Ludlum spends more time describing things, pondering histories, and the like. These are not the kinds of passages that make for a good thriller, so I'm thinking Ludlum may have been trying to write a different kind of novel. Many times throughout the novel he has characters engaged in sarcastic banter when, supposedly, they are in imminent danger and should be trying to escape it. It lost the feel of real conversation.

Also disappointing here was the stupidity of many of the characters. There were several times in the novel when some advantage was achieved by Jason/David and his team, and then someone would pick up the phone and call someone across the planet to relay information as if no one of these high-level C.I.A. operatives knew about phone-tapping.

The ending involved a series of confrontations then escapes with Carlos (when one would have been sufficient). I confess I skimmed through the last of these, which involved 10 or 12 pages of describing the battlefield (and more sarcastic banter), all of which served to slow the action down when, as a reader, I just wanted to get to the ending that I knew was coming. If only Ludlum had worked with an editor on this novel.

If anyone is interested in these novels, I recommend he or she stop with the first.

Dungeons & Dragons

2009-08-31T03:03:00Z

After almost four years, my Monday-night Dungeons & Dragons campaign comes to an end next month. Running the game has been a great deal of work for me, sometimes wearisome, but usually well worth the enjoyment I've been able to provide to the players. Some nights have certainly been better than others, and I hope for my players the good nights have outnumbered the bad ones.

I started out intending to run a horror campaign in TSR/WoTC/White Wolf's Ravenloft setting, but, the game being after most everyone's had a long day at work, it became a little too light and joke-filled to be a horror game. Occasionally, I've been able to bring in something horrific, but mostly it was a quest for the players, and they've done pretty well. Three of my original five players are still with me, and others have joined since we started. I expect most of them to survive the final battle with a powerful demon.

We’ve talked a little about what comes after the campaign, but it’s nothing I’ve put much thought into, other than that I want to take a week or two break once we’re done. I do enjoy playing, and it looks like my Wednesday-night game is falling to ruin, but keeping my head around getting this campaign concluded has kept me from planning anything about a subsequent one, with me as DM or as a player.

another day at the office

2009-08-14T19:45:29Z

Perry: It sounds like you're saying you don't want to be on my doctoral committee.
$3wm: That's not what I said. But I do think that you're making for more out of the process than you should. Most students do. You make it into this high-pressure thing, but it's really just all in your head.
Perry: So you're trying a little CBT on me, is that it?
$3wm: Cock and ball torture?
Perry: What? Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, of course.
$3wm: Oh, yes, of course.

Oops.

G.I. Joe movie

2009-08-08T19:59:30Z

Getting out of the shower, I heard Vyse downstairs and figured he must just be back from seeing "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra." He'd invited me along, but I'd passed. Downstairs, I found him watching a Syfy film, "DragonQuest."

3dwm: What are you doing lying there?
Vyse: Watching a bad movie.
3dwm: Weren't you doing that earlier today?
Vyse: Yeah, but not as bad as this one.

Sounds like my decision to wait until "Joe" comes on FX was a good one. I'm not smug about it, though. Nope, not me. Never.

adjunct instructor part 2

2009-07-29T19:05:33Z

Things fell apart (W. B. Yeats, 1919) about my teaching that graduate course this fall, although not before I got my mitts on five exam-copy textbooks from two different publishers. One of the books would be a great fit for the course, but for the time being it will have to suffice as good reading for me.

Oh, but this week the department chair asked me if I'd teach an undergraduate course (one I've taught 6 times before) in the spring. The course has changed slightly since I taught it, so I'll have to revise my syllabus--and this time it's all online, not my favorite way to teach. Yesterday, the course coordinator copied me on a message to the scheduler telling him to add the section with my name on it. So it looks like it might really happen, and I've got five months to prepare for it.

Yay!

telepathy

2009-07-27T17:30:37Z

I got scolded by the boss this morning because last week I did not stay late Wednesday night to edit the proposal that was not ready for editing until Thursday morning. From what the boss said, faculty members were upset that I had not stayed around to work on the proposal, and these same faculty members did not submit their sections of the proprosal until 10 and noon on Thursday, respectively.

I reminded her that at no time did anyone ask me to stay late. In fact, one faculty member stated twice that the proposal would not be ready that evening but that I might use a draft to construct a table of contents. If I had had something on which to work, I would have canceled my plans for that evening. But I didn't.

My morale is being unbuilt.

Adventures with the Law!

2009-07-11T23:33:31Z

There was a rip in the contour sheet of my bed, and this morning as I slid off the bed my big toe managed to slip into the rip and tear it further. So this afternoon I decided time for some new sheets. And that means Target.

I'm tooling along and suddenly there's a police car coming up behind me, so I pull over to let it pass, and it pulls up behind me. Great. I get out my driver's license and open the glove compartment to get the registration and insurance cards. The officer tells me I ran a red light at Irwin and Boulevard. I tell him I turned left from Boulevard onto Irwin. He tells me I came straight across the intersection and through the red light. I tell him I turned left from Boulevard onto Irwin. He takes my driver's license and tells me to wait.

I find the registration card quickly enough (as well as the past six years' worth of them), but the most recent insurance card I can find expired in 2004. Damn that Vyse!! After a few minutes, the officer brings back my license and encourages me to drive safely.

I sent Vyse a text message saying What the hell is wrong with you?! (Actual wording: "No insurance card in Jeep") I've got new sheets now. I'm washing them before I put them on my bed.

adjunct instructor

2009-07-08T20:59:21Z

Today, I was asked to teach an online graduate-level course in the fall. I agreed to it, and that gives me only about a month to prepare. I'm feeling excited but also anxious about it.

More than enough reason to see "Star Trek" again, I say!

Gay Bed & Breakfast of Terror

2009-07-07T04:12:23Z

Just wasted two hours watching "Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror," which I'd Tivoed. It's message appeared to be that trans people will go crazy and become homicidal maniacs at the drop of a head. Very disappointing.

Estranged Relations

2009-06-26T15:47:30Z

From my brother (forwarded to him by my grandmother):

Minorities

We need to show more sympathy for these people.

They travel miles in the heat.
They risk their lives crossing a border.
They don't get paid enough wages.
They do jobs that others won't do or are afraid to do.
They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a different language.
They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all day ~ every day.

I'm not talking about the damned illegal Mexicans ~
I'm talking about our troops!
Doesn't it seem strange that many Democrats and Republicans are willing to lavish all kinds of social benefits on illegals, but don't support our troops.

My response (sent to both my brothers, my mother, and my grandmother):

"the damned illegal Mexicans"?
I trust that no one wonders why my visits to Ruralville are so infrequent.

My brother’s response:

Is that all you see in that message? It is not a joke on illegal Mexicans, it is the lack of support for the people that provide the protection of our Freedoms (his emphasis). Look past the political nonsense. Why is there so much support for those who are here illegally, but you blow off those who put their lives on the line for us.

My mother’s response:

You worry about stupid jokes, but you make fun of a man who has passed away showing up to give you a check for $1 million. Everyone is politically incorrect at some time even you. (She refers to a Facebook comment I made about Ed McMahon's death.)

Proposal snafu aftermath

2009-06-18T15:31:01Z

So the federal agency said no, they wouldn't take the proposal I'd submitted seconds after the deadline. We are a nation of rules (not people), after all, so this response was not surprising.

My boss told the faculty members that the proposal did not get in on time, and they were (wait for it) apologetic. The faculty member who came down to talk with us was quite nice about the whole thing, and we talked about possibilities for submitting the proposal elsewhere. (He's quite cute, so talking to him in general is an enjoyable experience.)

The only person apparently upset by the whole to-do is the assistant director, who is on vacation at the moment and who would have been submitting the proposal had she been at the office. She'll be back Monday, so maybe that's the day I should take as a vacation day.

Federal proposals are due at 4:30, everybody. Etch that into your skull.

just a humptastic day

2009-06-17T21:50:28Z

Today has been wretched. Oh, but there's a happy ending.

I've been emailing back and forth with the federal agency about that proposal I screwed up on, and there is a very faint, teeny-tiny glimmer of hope that they will still take it. And while I'm glad they're considering my plea, the waiting for their decision has made me feel like I'm living on borrowed time. There was still no decision by the time I'd left at 5. My director has decided we'll wait until we get a definite "no" before we tell the faculty member who wrote the proposal.

I edited three, densely written, repetitious proposals today. I also had to do a "prior period adjustment," which I've never done before (and never should do). And as I was heading home, I realized I didn't have the gatecard to let me into my complex. I feared I had dropped it on the street in the morning when I was switching my car keys for my work keys.

But I found the gatecard at home. Moreover, I got a check in the mail, a refund for an fraudulent charge to my credit card. Yes, it's only $27.68, but it's more than $0.00, and it's sure better than another bill!

So tonight: Wash a load of clothes, zip over for my sixth viewing of "Star Trek," and then to the gym. And when I get home, I'm sure to find the good news that they're accepting the proposal. Oh, I'm not jinxing it by saying that, am I? That would not be good.

Dammit

2009-06-17T00:38:17Z

I screwed up at work today. I was seconds late submitting a $3 million proposal to the feds. I've made some phone calls and emails to see if I can fix it, but odds are against me. I'll get to experience the fall-out when I get in tomorrow. Maybe I should call in sick.

Dungeons & Dragons (4E)

2009-06-12T19:01:37Z

Two sessions ago at my Wednesday-night D&D game, our DM told us to give him some ideas about where we wanted to go with our characters, what items we might like to obtain, etc. I gave this quite a bit of thought for my wizard character, Liam, who has concentrated on cold-based spells as he's developed (He had a rough childhood, including a bad experience with fire.).

I had been thinking he would follow the Rimetongue Caller paragon path, but after wrestling over his future for several nights, I realized that I didn't like the paragon path. It combines cold with summoning, a new magical spell type described in the recent Arcane Power accessory. However, I don't care for the new summoning stuff, particularly as it will mean I'd have to give up the daily powers (including Bigby's Icy Grasp, the source of many a fisting joke) that the other PCs are accustomed to his using. I just could get a confortable feel of Liam as a summoner.

Finally, this past Wednesday morning, the solution hit me in the head: Create a different paragon path. (Don't worry. No concussion.) I decided I would pair the cold magic with illusion magic, the other new type of spell introduced in Arcane Power. Liam already had one illusion spell under his belt, and as they come in a wide variety, it was not difficult to switch another out for a spell Liam has seldom used and would prefer never to be close enough to his foes to have to.

I'm calling the paragon path, "Mindchiller," and its philosophy stems from the character's need to control the chaotic world around him. Cold magic comes from admiration of the reliable crystalline structures of ice. Illusion magic stems from his understanding that what we see in the world--love, loyalty, security--these are all also illusions (Again, he had a very rough childhood.), and he uses illusions to make others aware of their own ignorance. "You know the underlying truth of all existence, that there is no truth, and you have trained yourself to survive in a world that wants only to destroy you." It's all a bit nihilistic, and it's influenced by my recent readings in deconstruction without doubt (or with doubt, depending on how you wish to read that sentence). Of course, I'll have to discuss the abilities I've created to go with the paragon path with the DM, but they are all variations of powers from other paragon paths and no more powerful than those. I'm looking forward to Liam's being able to cast his Storm of Lies.

This isn't the extent of my planning for this character, but now that I've got a paragon path that he can follow and that I like, I can make other plans. For one thing, he doesn't seem very heroic, what with the freezing and the fear-causing and the deception. I have an idea about that as well, but it will require some work (and I'm going to keep that concept up my sleeve for the time being.)

Creativity = fun!

summer resolution

2009-06-09T20:52:19Z

Giving me feedback after my dissertation prospectus presentation, one of my committee members wrote next to something I'd said about Jacques Derrida, "Have you even read him?" Being a clever student, I made sure there was no mention of Derrida in my final dissertation, so the question was deftly avoided.

However, I have decided I do need to address this gap in my experience, and my goal over the summer (until my quantitative methods master's program begins) will be to read some of the Derrida I've got on my shelf, enough so that I'll be able to talk about what he had to say with more confidence. I've started out reading The Theory Mess: Deconstruction in Eclipse by Herman Rapaport, and I think that will get me in shape enough to tackle On Grammatology and Writing and Difference.

Come August, I should be able to deconstruct like the best of them! (I'm not really sure who those best are, actually.)

3dollarwm @ 2009-06-07T09:25:00

2009-06-07T13:29:46Z

Yesterday, I drove the Jeep out to the Hollywood 24 cinema to see "Star Trek" again. I thought I saw a parking space in the center row near the front, and I pulled down it, but I was mistaken, so I pulled into a space for persons with disabilities to turn around, and the engine turned off. You'll recall that the Check Engine light came on the week before. Vyse had stayed home Monday and Tuesday to check on the problem (The Jeep is his.), but I think he spent most of that time caulking his shower. Some time on Friday, he deduced that the alternator was not working and that the battery was losing its charge, but he waited until I was stuck in the cinema parking lot to relay that information to me, what we might call too fracking late.

Half an hour after I called him, he showed up to jump the Jeep, and that got us down the highway to Shallowford Road, where the engine died again. He had it towed to Pep Boys, where it now resides, reportedly fixed, waiting for us to go pick it up after I get back from the gym.

Next time the Check Engine light comes on, I think I'll skip Vyse and go right to the repair shop. I'm still not sure how I'm going to fit in another viewing of "Star Trek."

3dollarwm @ 2009-06-01T08:51:00

2009-06-01T13:00:09Z

Yesterday, I took the Jeep in to get the oil changed, harboring hope that the process would lead to the offing of the "Check Engine" light. The technician pulled me from the lobby to explain that I was low on some fuels and that I had a differential problem. (I knew right away this had nothing to do with calculus: I'm not a complete idiot.) He told me it would be $25 each to fix the differentials, and I said go ahead. Back in the lobby, as I sat down to get back to my book, I wondered how many differentials a vehicle might have. Imagine my relief to learn the answer is two! As I drove away from the station, I was relieved to see the "Check Engine" light was not on, but later in the day it returned. Vyse is home trying to figure out what's causing it, so I'm driving his SUV today.

Huzzah!

2009-05-30T20:34:10Z

The online tracking system tells me I've been accepted into the master's program I applied for (although acceptance isn't official until I get the letter). Beginning this fall, I'll be taking a class Tuesday night and Thursday night, and if my D&D games are still going on then on Monday and Wednesday nights, I'll have no free time at all! I'm so crazy!

toe hold

2009-05-27T21:33:06Z

Sure, my podiatrist may seem like a mild-mannered, slightly effeminate Filipino American, but deep in his soul he is totally gangsta. Every time I go to see him, he threatens to cut me. AND THEN HE DOES IT! Good thing I have some codeine left over from one of last fall's root canals.

cinemania

2009-05-22T23:07:10Z

Yes, I did go to see Star Trek for the third time last night. But I swear I'm not addicted. I could stop any time if I wanted to.

Luck

2009-05-20T04:26:10Z

300 positions got axed at University today, which means 30 people are out of jobs. (I assume they're getting at least two weeks' notice, but I may be naive.) Mother wrote to find out if I were one of those, and I wrote back to let her know I wasn't. She responded, "That was good news. I feel sorry for those who lost their jobs, but I'm glad you're not one of them. You deserve some good luck."

I didn't respond to that because I didn't want to be rude, but in looking over my history, I feel I've benefited from quite a bit of positive happenstance, surely more than my fair share. Sure, there have been some downturns, but overall things have been on the up. I've had friends to support me when I needed them. When I was coerced into quitting my job, faculty members in the college sought me out to help me, leading to my being able to gain teaching experiences that were especially fulfilling to me. While I'm pretty scatterbrained about my money, I've nonetheless managed to keep my head above water and lead a generally leisure-filled life (when I'm not frittering away hours editing dissertations). I find myself not worrying particularly about what's ahead, and that's brought a very welcome peace to my life.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's time for bad things to happen to me! But if there's some good luck going around, I know there are many, many people who could use it more than I could. They should get first shot.

Angels & Demons (no spoilers)

2009-05-16T22:35:47Z

Just in from Angels & Demons. It met my expectations. I enjoyed the book when I read it (more than I enjoyed The DaVinci Code), and I was able to understand why some things were omitted, particularly the rather far-fetched thing that happens at the end of the book. However, I was disappointed that only the political reasons for the antagonists actions is described. In the book, the antagonist also had personal reasons for his/her actions, and that made the outcome more poignant. This is where books have the advantage over films, I guess. I think I might have been confused watching the film without having read the book; on the other hand, I might have enjoyed the film more without knowing what was really going on. I'm glad I went.

Spoked!

2009-05-13T00:08:31Z

For the first time, I rode my bike in to work this morning. I will not be repeating this act, however, because apparently it was stolen during the day. I suppose it's a good thing the walk home isn't that far. Grumble, grumble, grumble. I told the police officer I'd try to find the serial number for the thing, but, as I've just moved, those kinds of records are not readily at hand.

Serenissima

2009-05-11T17:56:32Z

Across the lap-lapping canal,
Manlio scrubs clean the planks,
letting soapy water drip onto
the shifting, sun-bright surface.
Screeching gulls seek meals nearby,
out of his focus.

With small, determined hands, he
makes sure the abandoned tether
remains at ready. Falling slowly,
the sun pulls back her skirts.
Sudsy bubbles bounce, white
scars on the darkening sea.

Dawn. Manlio wakes, aslump
on the pier. Lonely hands wave away
a smiling crow and wipe spray
from his face. I see him shiver,
move out of the shadows, and
wait to smell the warmth again.

Mother's day

2009-05-11T11:32:34Z

I drove out to the hinterlands to visit my parents yesterday, the first time I'd done so in a year and a half. I barely recognized my 14-year-old nephew. The visit was marred by my having a migraine, so I was even more antisocial than usual. The focus of dinner was barbecue ribs and shrimp, but mother had made sure the side dishes (butter peas, a "hash brown" casserole, and a bowl of fruit) were meat-free so I had things to eat. Most of the evening I walked around with a bag of ice on my head.

The headache had blown up at about 2 p.m., and I'm wondering if I did something to my neck while I was at the gym Sunday morning. I also saw "Star Trek" IMAX Saturday, and it was painfully loud. I suppose either of those things (or both) could have set up the headache, and then, while I was waiting to leave for my parents', I watched the last part of the "Eureka" episode where Nathan rescues everyone from the time loop, which made me cry again, and crying always makes any headache I've got ten times worse.

I popped a Tylenol 3 when I got home Sunday night and managed to get to sleep. The pain has subsided greatly this morning, so I may be fully functional. Of course, I'd hate to waste that functionality just doing work. But I need the money. :)